


The Green-Eyed Rabbit

by commas_and_ampersands



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 16:52:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16727244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commas_and_ampersands/pseuds/commas_and_ampersands
Summary: Usagi isn't jealous; she just doesn't like to share her boyfriend.





	The Green-Eyed Rabbit

**Author's Note:**

> Written April 2011.

It's not so much that Usagi is jealous. It's just that she doesn't want to share. Mamoru is her boyfriend, and she doesn't think it’s unreasonable of her to take this position.

On the other hand, she has long since accepted the fact that her Mamo-chan is an attractive hunk of manhood. She doesn't begrudge the sly looks he gets from passers-by, or the occasional schoolgirl giggling at him inside the arcade. She even understands why, sometimes, her friends give him an appreciative glance before continuing about their business. She loves and trusts them so much that she doesn't even consider them a danger to her relationship.

Frankly, Usagi thinks she's fairly reasonable when it comes to the issue of jealousy (especially since she is not, repeat, NOT jealous). Definitely not even a little bit jealous.

She just wishes the evil overladies would keep their hands to themselves already.

"Don't you think you're overreacting just a bit, Usako?" Mamo-chan asks her, an annoying but not unattractive smirk on his face.

Usagi glares. "No, I don't think I'm overreacting. I am sick and tired of you being the object of desire for every female bad guy we run into."

He frowns. "I think you're overstating the case just a--"

"Beryl destroyed an entire civilization because she was in love with you," Usagi snapped, counting down the villainesses. "Black Lady - your own daughter--"

"The brainwashed evil incarnation of my daughter," Mamoru interrupted.

A small voice in Usagi's head that sounded suspiciously like Minako said, " _Same difference_."

Usagi ignored it and pressed on. "Doesn't matter, she still wanted you. Nehellenia expressed her desire for you in her dying breath, and of all the horrors Galaxia subjected me to, watching her kiss you was easily in the top three."

Mamoru sighed. "All right. Fine. So there's a certain... similarity in the incidents."

Usagi snorted.

"But don't you think me wearing a fake handlebar mustache as Tuxedo Kamen is taking it too far?" Mamoru asked, gesturing to the offending accessory gracing his lip like two kissing caterpillars.

Usagi pretended to consider the point.

"Nope."

**Author's Note:**

> I think the end joke probably landed a lot better before people started taking handlebar mustaches seriously again.
> 
> Mamoru Chiba: Ultimate Hipster.


End file.
